... And that feeling was more intense than usual, like something DID NOT want me to go to work. But I did. And the first stretch of the day was awful. Today was overcast, and the snow was all but melted. The winds were strong, and I could see it blowing around leaves in little circle patterns on the pavement out by the back of the house. I've been thinking about some things Liz had told me (and reminded myself of how pathetic and IGNORANT I was back then), and I remember the conversation I had, the whole reason she got into drugs. I can't claim to represent how she felt about it, but I feel like for her it was sort of a form of self-medication. She had Porphyria, I don't know much about it but it has something to do with blood cell proteins, and some of the symptoms included a lot of gastrointestinal issues. She had been trying to find medication for it but if I remember the conversation I had with her right she had tried several different medications, none of which worked (blood transfusion is also a possible treatment, hence its relation to the vampire myth), so she did her research on it and treating it with Heroin was her answer to that problem.
In light of that, I feel like trying to relate certain elements of my life to that were a bit off-base. I couldn't possibly understand what she was dealing with. Again, completely ignorant and didn't know what I was talking about. But, I look back on some of those conversations I had and I had that moment of clarity when I realized some of the things I said were said without knowledge of the lies produced by the drug war, or undersanding the culture surrounding it. I want to say I have a better understanding of it now partly thanks to her, but maybe I still don't get the big picture. All I can really do is try to educate myself, or if that should fail not to believe the lies propagated by the drug war. And if you really think about it, drug laws weren't made to protect people - they were designed with policital intentions.
To put it briefly, opioids in particular had to do with the Opium wars. This was a huge move to suppress the trade of Opioids from China, and resulted in long time repercussions such as giving up Hong Kong to foreign powers. Another example of this, take the illegalization of pot. It's become legal in some states now (Illinois being one of them), but what made it illegal is complicated and honestly it's hard to separate fact from fiction. The version I was told is that it was largely due to DuPont inventing Nylong, but another version of the story has it that it was due to the government wanting to keep out Mexican immigrants. That source in particular mentioned Reefer madness. You know whenever something like this happens it seems to be for racist reasons, I'm seeing a pattern...
One thing I've always thought though is that a lot of these substance control laws make me think of the prohibition. You know, with the alcohol and the bootleggers, that's more common knowledge, but there's a saying, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it!", and I feel like with these drug laws we're just repeating the same mistakes of the prohibition. That's my take on it anyway...
Well, today was my niece's birthday, and she liked the toy that I got her but kids will be kids. Of course the younger sister would fight over toys with the older sister. On her birthday. I really feel kinda bad for those kids but then I'm not used to being around kids much, I hope all youngsters aren't this poorly behaved. If anyone with experience raising kids could tell me for certain I would gladly hear them out.
Anyway I guess I'll do some more reminiscing and trying to make sense of it all. There was one thing I particularly remember seeing, something that's been bothering me.
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