I guess I'm going to be taking a moment to air out some grievances I had with the situation. At first it seemed like it was going well, we had a lot of fun, and he had been helping me out with losing weight (which BTW I lost a ton of weight while I was there, I weigh about 182 lbs, and I can actually fit into a size 4 now!), but a couple months passed and some cracks started to form...
Firstly I was talking to him about a situation where my mom wanted to bring the cat over so I could babysit her. I ran this idea by Chris, and I guess I worded it in such a way where I didn't pose it as a question but more as an informative statement. Well, it turned into a shouting match after he tried to ignore me, and he had made some threats against me and my cat that day, to which I tried to retaliate, but it didn't go well, I'm lucky he didn't beat the tar out of me. It was honestly kinda scary. But then I continue to cook (I was making curry n' rice that day, they have this Golden Curry I like, it's Japanese-style), and he's there helping me like nothing happened, no apologies or anything. Weird.
Fast forward a bit. I got this used car, a Buick LeSabre custom for about $4.2k, it needed a little fixing up, but because of that I got a job at Amazon.com. So one day I'm talking about how my feet are hurting and he mentions getting insoles, and he wants me to go to one of these foot things they have in Walgreen's/Walmart, but I didn't end up doing it, and then he got super angry like he didn't care anymore. So I try to do the mature thing and walk away instead of trying to fight him on it because I know emotions are high, and he starts calling me a pussy, we get into a fight and he's talking trash about my parents. I actually love my parents, they're not perfect, but I have some respect for them, and he might tell you otherwise but they've taught me some things. I'm still actually learning things from my mother, and I've had some conversations this past year that I actually agreed on her with! She knows I need to be independant and has made every effort to help me on that front! (Plus she needs to get away from my Dad, too, he's a bit too controlling, kinda like my roommate was) But anyway, tangent aside, I wait for him to calm down. I try to talk to him, and he still starts cutting me down anyway, it's like he WANTS to have an argument and I don't! I'm not okay with people who feel like they have to raise their voice to make a point I don't agree with! I was honestly thinking of moving out on him that day, but I never even got a chance to bring it up, he just dominated the whole conversation completely, telling me how I'm not living my life (I just don't want to be an asshole with my money, I'm trying to save for a house so I'm not knee-deep into debt like he is...), and how I'm a toddler compared to him. But then suddenly the conversation ended up turning around about my time in Florida. I was telling him about how I've visited Ft. Myers Beach and about the gaming club I was a part of. Well my mom came over and I ended up telling her things were alright, so I ended up staying for a while longer.
So, fast forward a bit, again. I got to see this mechanic in Iowa about a possibly oil leak I may have had, but on the way there we noticed some other things. Well, we did some work on the car, the AC is working great now, he aligned the wheels so the car drives a lot better, he cleaned up and replaced the gas cap for me which took care of the emission problem, and also he poured some stuff into the oil tank to seal it. It seems like it worked but I'm still keeping an eye on that, but all things considered he did a good job, and it only came out to be just under $200, not a bad price. Later on, we noticed there might be a bit of a gas leak. He thought the fuel system might have been clogged up, but what bothers me is the check engine light didn't go on. At one point the check engine light went off by itself, and I ran all the lights on the dashboard and the light didn't go out, so the problem probably just about righted itself, and after our mechanic did his work, he reset the light and ran the diagnostics again, everything checked out okay. He was the one who maintained the car, too, so he gave me a list of all the work he did in the form of a previous invoice. Now my roommate wanted me to go get an inspection, and I was cool with the idea, but he didn't have to tell me not to mention it to my parents and take a jab at our mechanic being incompetent just because he's older, it was a completely unnecessary and ignorant comment to make.
The last straw was when I got a message on another trip to Iowa I made. The electricity went out and my roommate was asking me for $1,000 to help him with the electric bill until the loan came, to which he'd pay me back when it came. I wasn't comfortable with it so I ended up declining, but with the way he's thrown out food carelessly (he's had to stop for money reasons but I always thought wasting food was wrong on matter of principle), but then he had an attitude when I texted him back saying not to throw anything out unless I look at it. I know better than to eat spoiled food but there was some stuff ultimately we were able to save. What I don't get is why couldn't he have gotten some ice or something and put it in the fridge/freezer so the food wouldn't go bad? Did he not do the same for his fridge? IDK a lot about how he handled that but I'm surprised he couldn't ask his parents for assistance, I mean his mom's willing to speak to him but he won't speak to her. And I even suggested legal action if ComEd was in the wrong and he did pay his electric bill. I guess he had been behind 3 months or something, but what a mature adult would do is check their statements each month to make sure that everything was paid for. (I mean if they're going to do autopay, otherwise just do it manually.)
So, that in mind I decided I needed to move out. I could've given him like 2 weeks notice, sure, but I was so unhappy with the living situation that I chose to move out as soon as I could. I was planning to tell him in person but he was sleeping mid-day, so I just moved my stuff out and sent him a text because I thought he had the right to know. So he goes off on me, yet again, saying how I'm dead to him and cutting me down like he has in our previous arguments. Honestly it's laughable, if he's the one that needed me so bad how can he say the best we'll be is acquaintances? I guess he was still mad because I was upset with him for narcing on Liz (which, in turn effected my ability to move in with her. The whole deal was I would move in with her and get a job to help her pay rent, I had a crush on her at the time but I think I would've wised up to that and realized she had Reade already, after I spoke with him I knew what she meant when she said his heart's in the right place but his head isn't.), and I ghosted him. But I've had a chance to think about it and I don't think that's what really happened. I tried to give him a call at least once a year, and I remember talking to him from the dorms in Florida, about how I might fix his old PC up, and it almost did happen. I had a spare monitor I could've used, and we had been planning to salvage what we could from the electronics. That and I had my hardware/software textbook from college. I also tried to give him a call a couple years ago since we went to Cubs vs. Cardinals. I can recall more than one occasion where I tried to call him but he didn't answer. I'm not sure now if it was his phone service provider or if he wasn't answering, I know he's avoided answering some people. I was willing to forgive him but he wasn't willing to forgive me apparently, but I can rest assured this time he was the one who dropped the ball. I noticed he's the type of person that runs mouth and starts fights, he is extremely billigerant and self-important. But he also lost his other best friend, too, and he told me about how the last time he saw him he gave him this look like he did something wrong. Now I'm beginning to think he did, but I don't think I'll get the chance to speak to him and get his side of the story. (Either way I'd rather draw my own conclusions in this case than take either account at face value, I'm sure neither side was completely infallible.)
But, after moving out I feel a lot happier. All I can do is take what I learned living with him to try to better myself. Ironically, pursuing my past has given me the freedom to move forward with my life. I'm cutting that guy out of my life. I'll make friends who will lift me up and treat me with actual respect as a human being. I'll dress for the job I want, and conduct myself like a respectable adult. I'll continue to take charge of my health through portion control, exercise, and a good diet.
But there's some other things I wanted to say as well. All to often I'd hear about how the elderly have no one to care for them in their late years. I've worked customer service at Wal-Mart and they had this Healthy Benefits program they had. It was a broken system, and I often felt bad for the people I had to deal with. I tried to help as much as I could but there were also cases I couldn't help with, either due to limitations with the system, policy, or just lack of coming to and understanding of a customer's needs. But all too often I'd hear that they had nobody to help with, especially when it came to creating Walmart.com accounts (policy has it that we can't create Walmart.com accounts for customers, often we'd have to try to walk them through creating an account. This is a huge problem for Healthy Benefits customers as a lot of them are elderly, and they often aren't tech-savvy), but I see the situation my Dad is in. I know my mom isn't getting any younger either. People, please take care of your elderly. Throwing them in a home is the worst thing you could do to them, and a lot of these people want their independance (Ruth was actually that way. I feel bad about what happened to her on the house at Denker, I just wish her sons had been there to help her). Please don't rob them of that. Also, please make sure you appreciate your friends, even if you haven't talked to them for a while. Truly listen to them! Catch up to them and see what they've been up to, but whatever you do, don't get money involved. The moment you do that is when friendships could get ruined.
