Sunday, February 21, 2021

I'll have to make this brief.

I'm not sure if this is because of the cold or whether it's my state of mind, or just the fact that I hate my job, either way I've been sleeping TOO much lately. The normal person is supposed to get around 8-10 hours of sleep each night per some research that was done a while back, but I've found myself sleeping for 11 hours. It seems to have gotten worse since I started writing this, it's like getting out of bed has become a chore.

I've also been grappling with some dark thoughts too since I came across some reminders of my conversations with Liz in my email. I think all the Pidgin logs were stored on my Gateway. It's tempting to take a look at them again but I feel like I would just be ruminating on a bad memory. I want to keep her memory alive but I think I run the risk of sabotaging my own self-worth in the process. It's complicated and frankly I don't want to talk about it but at the same time it's something I need to get off my chest. Yet, I have no one to share these thoughts with. Nobody would understand.

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