The Butterfly Effect.

Recently I came into contact with a net buddy of mine who I hadn't talked to for a good while. He was wondering where I have been, and I told him how I had been so depressed and have become... Somewhat... I want to say withdrawn because of what happened a year ago. But I ended up hearing about his relationship problems. See, he has this girl that he's in love with, and they're about to have kids, but some time ago they weren't on talking terms. Well, I remember how excited he was about her and she about him, and it made me even more depressed to think that that spark had weakened in their relationship, because I looked at it in terms of my own life, and I remember Liz had wanted me to move into her apartment, and I was enthusiastic about that. I didn't want to think that things could possibly go wrong.

What this is leading up to is this; After talking for a bit, he recommended to me a movie called The Butterfly Effect. The movie is about a man, played by (I think) Ashton Kutcher, and he's had these black-outs ever since he was a kid. The weird thing is that when he gets older and studies psychology his memories that were blacked out start coming back to him, and each time he does this the world changes, and he's living in an alternate reality where things happened differently than they did in his actual life. All to save a girl named Kaylee. Well, this happens more than once, each time with increasing frequency, until he's eventually at the point where the journal entries he's been using to keep track of these memories don't exist anymore. So in a last ditch effort to save her he looks at some home movies from when he was a kid, and tells off Kaylee to save her (and his) life.

But that has just made me even more depressed. I think I hate life now. We live in such a hellhole in such a way that bad things happen to good people, and trying to make the world worth living in is a futile effort. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I know from personal experience...