I apologize.

I've been in a bad mood. Don't ask me why. If you know, you know. If not, too bad. Just leave me alone for now, I REALLY don't want to talk to anyone right now unless I think it's really important. You all know who you are.

Sign the petition!

I'm not good at describing things, so here's an article explaining the situation;

http://mediacoalition.org/mediaimages/EMA%20v%20SCHWARZENEGGER%20RELEASE.4.26.10.pdf

Basically this means that video games could be censored more than any other medium. We mustn't stand for this!

On another note, I think it's high time people learned to get over their disconnect with nudity in media, which is less harmful than violence. Some forms of pornography belittle the image of the human body, but I'm of the belief that the naked body is not an object of shame in and of itself. Other countries outside of the U.S. show nudity on television. I saw an Australian show, in fact, that had nudity, and the program was rated 14 and up. Our paranoid restrictions of nudity are in itself also a form of censorship. But I digress. There's an ad up top for the EMA petition, and I encourage you to sign it, for art's sake!

Wrong number?

Just a moment ago I had a woman, presumably in her 60's or older, call me asking for Roger Lieb, whoever he is. I tried explaining to her that there was no one with that name at this number. But before I could finish, she hung up. Seconds later she called back, and she asked again, but this time I told her it was me, using my full name, save for the middle one. She apologized and hung up. I have no idea what just happened, but it got my hopes up today. I was hoping that it was Liz returning one of the several calls I made to her after she went missing. Why did it have to happen now of all times? Is this life's idea of a joke, because this is NOT funny! I'm not mad at the woman, even though she did eat up one of my minutes. I'm mad at... Whatever thought it would be funny do pull this s*** on me! What's weirder is that she gave me the number for my cellphone, which was correct, right down to the last digit. Maybe I should look at the number again, this may be important.

The Story of Stuff

A while ago I watched this video called "The Story of Stuff" by Annie Leonard. The story of stuff is the story of how consumer economy works, and how it came to be, and what it's doing to our planet. The video is very informative and educational, and I would recommend it to everyone if they care about the future of the Earth. Check it out, here's a link:

http://storyofstuff.com/

I Hate My Life.

There has been some seriously deep s*** going down. Long story short, I'm worried that a friend of mine and someone I have a crush on may be dead. Here's what happened; Liz got evicted from her apartment because she couldn't get enough money to pay her rent, and she had to stay with her parents, but they were making her feel like shit. So, she wanted to get out of the house, and unfortunately I'm all the way out of state, so it was impossible for me to come down and visit because I can't drive the car out of state due to some legal bull s***. So, she ended up visiting with her friend Danny, and they took her brother's car. Well, the car had a front tire blowout and swerved into a divider. Fortunately Liz and Danny were safe, but unfortunately Liz had to deal with her brother's car getting totaled, and Liz was starting to talk about suicide. Here's how the conversation went;

(6:13:55 AM) spitinacopsface: dan.
(6:14:01 AM) Sigma386: Hi.
(6:14:04 AM) Sigma386: Good morning.
(6:14:06 AM) spitinacopsface: I love you.
(6:14:43 AM) spitinacopsface: Soon to be the best morning of my life, or the worst, depeding on how bad of a failure I really am.
(6:15:13 AM) Sigma386: Why is that?
(6:15:33 AM) Sigma386: What's going to happen?
(6:17:21 AM) Sigma386: ... Why do I have a bad feeling about this?
(6:17:49 AM) Sigma386: ... Those aren't your last words, are they?
(6:17:58 AM) Sigma386: ...
(6:18:02 AM) Sigma386: I'm worried...
(6:19:22 AM) spitinacopsface: Well you're right to be.
(6:19:29 AM) spitinacopsface: And I am sorry.
(6:19:57 AM) Sigma386: Couldn't we just run away?
(6:20:11 AM) Sigma386: I said I would go with you.
(6:20:17 AM) Sigma386: And I will.
(6:24:02 AM) spitinacopsface: no time
(6:24:17 AM) spitinacopsface: I just stole my brother's car and crashed it.
(6:24:35 AM) Sigma386: How?
(6:24:39 AM) Sigma386: What happened?
(6:29:25 AM) spitinacopsface: danny
(6:29:35 AM) spitinacopsface: ask him
(6:29:44 AM) spitinacopsface: dan miller on my facebook friends
(6:33:07 AM) Sigma386: I wrote him a message asking what the story behind that accident was.
(6:45:07 AM) Sigma386: By the way, I was a bit shocked when you told me you love me...
(6:45:13 AM) Sigma386: ... But, I love you, too.
(6:46:22 AM) Sigma386: In a romantic way.
(6:46:39 AM) Sigma386: And as a friend.
(6:46:48 AM) Sigma386: Especially as a friend.
(6:47:10 AM) Sigma386: Because you can't have love without friendship.
(6:48:01 AM) Sigma386: And I'm pretty sure that's what you meant when you said you love me, that you love me as a friend.
(6:48:10 AM) Sigma386: As a person.
(6:48:48 AM) Sigma386: If only I could hold you in my arms in your time of need.
(6:49:09 AM) Sigma386: I swear, this is something out of a tragedy...
(6:50:45 AM) spitinacopsface: he's on AIM now
(6:50:51 AM) spitinacopsface: andi told jake to talk to you
(6:53:45 AM) Sigma386: ... Neither one started talking to me so far.
(6:54:17 AM) spitinacopsface: yes a friend. I wish I couldlove you the wayyou loveme, youeserve it but I don'tand ihave reade, but it isn't easyfor me to fall in love. andyou don't o dope.
(6:54:24 AM) spitinacopsface: we couldnever bea couple
(6:54:33 AM) spitinacopsface: but thank you for loving me
(6:57:15 AM) Sigma386: I'm more worried about our taste in sex. You like it aggressive, and I'm not the same way...
(6:57:36 AM) Sigma386: ... So, yeah... I don't even think we're sexually compatible to be a couple...
(6:59:00 AM) Sigma386: ... And, well, like you said, I'm a virgin. I've only read books about sex, and I've never tried anything, so I probably wouldn't be able to please you.
(7:00:11 AM) Sigma386: Although, I know dope is a big turn-on for you.
(7:01:32 AM) Sigma386: You've said so before in your Livejournal. You said that just seeing someone shoot up nearly brings you to orgasm.
(7:02:32 AM) Sigma386: But, I don't think it's impossible for someone who does do dope and someone who doesn't do dope to be a couple...
(7:06:29 AM) spitinacopsface: it doesn't matter.
(7:06:41 AM) spitinacopsface: sorry I could never love you how you love me.
(7:06:45 AM) spitinacopsface: sorry I took your money.
(7:06:50 AM) spitinacopsface: sorry I am leaving you.
(7:07:47 AM) Sigma386: Well, I was hoping it would save you from getting evicted.
(7:08:08 AM) Sigma386: But that didn't even work...
(7:08:16 AM) Sigma386: And now it's come to this...
(7:09:49 AM) Sigma386: It's times like this I wish I could alter the past.
(7:10:14 AM) Sigma386: Then maybe I could have made things better.
(7:11:10 AM) Sigma386: And maybe you wouldn't be miserable.
(7:11:14 AM) Sigma386: Like you are.
(7:12:03 AM) Sigma386: I would have saved that money that I made at Goodwill and I would have been able to get a place of my own 5-6 years ago, and I wouldn't have been dragged out here and forced to see you kill yourself.
(7:12:30 AM) Sigma386: And things would have been better.
(7:12:53 AM) Sigma386: Spending all that money on video games was a big mistake.
(7:13:05 AM) Sigma386: I could have saved your life with all that money...
(7:14:53 AM) Sigma386: I have so many regrets. I made so many foolish mistakes in my life.
(7:17:19 AM) Sigma386: My life will never be the same after this, I'm probably going to hate everyone I know for not helping me.
(7:17:31 AM) Sigma386: I'm going to blame them for your death.
(7:18:07 AM) Sigma386: They could have helped me save you, but their lack of understanding and thoughtfulness was only an obstacle.
(7:18:16 AM) Sigma386: All they're good for is getting in my way!
(7:18:38 AM) spitinacopsface: you are notcapable of alleviating mymiesry
(7:18:59 AM) spitinacopsface: and it is MY fault I got evicted not youra
(7:19:06 AM) spitinacopsface: I am adopefiend
(7:19:50 AM) spitinacopsface: all of thisis myfault
(7:19:54 AM) spitinacopsface: notyoyers
(7:20:00 AM) spitinacopsface: notmy parents
(7:20:05 AM) spitinacopsface: notthe cops
(7:20:06 AM) spitinacopsface: mine
(7:22:53 AM) Sigma386: But, what could you have done to change things, to make them better?
(7:23:38 AM) Sigma386: I don't blame you for anything that has happened.
(7:23:46 AM) Sigma386: Maybe I'm crazy...
(7:24:02 AM) Sigma386: ... But, there's so much wrong with the world.
(7:24:19 AM) Sigma386: And, you're a far better person that most people will ever be.
(7:24:29 AM) Sigma386: I've never seen you sell yourself short.
(7:24:58 AM) Sigma386: You're the most authentic person I know.
(7:25:33 AM) Sigma386: The world would be losing a great person if you died.
(7:26:17 AM) Sigma386: I mean, sure, you're into heroin, but it's the government's fault that it's illegal.
(7:26:24 AM) Sigma386: You didn't want it to be illegal.
(7:26:28 AM) Sigma386: A lot of people don't.
(7:26:48 AM) Sigma386: But a lot more people do, and for bad reasons.
(7:27:19 AM) Sigma386: But they're just being ignorant.
(7:28:48 AM) Sigma386: And I think it's so ingrained in their psyche that they if they heard the truth, they wouldn't accept it.

She logged off after that for a while. She told me she had a court date that morning so I'm assuming that's why she had to go, but what unsettled me was her status message read "dead" when I last saw her. She did eventually log back on though, and I tried talking to her then.

(9:19:59 AM) Sigma386: You're back.
(9:21:54 AM) Sigma386: Neither Jake nor Danny got back to me
(9:23:19 AM) Sigma386: I don't know why
(9:25:27 AM) Sigma386: It's awfully rude of them not to talk to me.

She never replied. Instead, she went idle for an hour before signing off again. I jumped the gun a bit. Danny DID get back to me and he has been helping me trying to find out what happened to Liz, so I probably shouldn't have said he was rude. He was probably just away from his PC. But yeah, that's what happened. She vanished. It's been over a week since anyone last saw her, and this is why I'm so depressed right now. I think I may actually need her to function in life, because she's the whole reason I didn't want to move to Iowa in the first place.

I've had this crush on her ever since I met her in Drawing II class, and I've been trying to fulfill this crush for 5 years now. But, before I met her again thanks to Facebook, I was having trouble trying to find her. All I had to go by was her first name, her sun sign, and a college she previously attended. I didn't think to look in Facebook, though, only Myspace. But, when I looked on Facebook, I instantly found her and sent her a message saying I was an old classmate who wanted to be friends with her. That's how we finally got to know each other. We had been planning to move in with each other, because we needed each other. She needed someone who would help her raise the roof of her apartment, and I needed someone I could become intimate with. I also needed a way to get out of my parents' basement and get back home, since I was so hung up on that, too. But every time I made plans to move in with her and find a job, the people closest to me had an objection, and because of that it always seemed to fall through, save for one time, and we only had time to go out to eat. The rest of the day consisted of trying to help her rent a car so she could visit Reade, who was in jail at the time. But unfortunately, my friend Chris thinks she was using him for a ride. But every time afterwards, all my plans to see her in person ended in failure. And she needed me since Reade bit the bullet for her, and they got separated because of the justice system. When that happened, she felt depressed. It was hard for her to get by because without him living with her, she had no one. I was separated from her by distance, and Danny did try to comfort her, but to no avail. She missed Reade so much and wanted him back. I think that was also part of what drove her over the edge. Between that and having to go back to living with your parents, it must have been tough for her. And now she's gone, and I'm miserable because of it. The only thing that would possibly cheer me up is if she turned up online again, or gave me some sign that she was alive. Then I would at least have some hope of getting reunited with her. The only thing that's keeping me alive is the possibility that instead of killing herself, she ran out of state to somewhere safe, and that maybe I could follow her there, and that maybe I would be able to help her back on her feet after all that's happened. She's the most brilliant person I know, she deserves better than what she gets.

But that's only scratching the surface. As if life was playing some sort of sick joke on me, people have been popping up on MSN sending me some suspicious link and generally just acting suspicious. The first time it was someone pretending to be some Chinese girl, the next it was pretending to be some girl named Rose. But, normally, whenever someone types something, I will see something on the bottom of Pidgin that says "(username) is typing..." I'm almost certain it's a bot typing out these messages, pretending to be human and just trying to promote this link. The address is im.live.cn/safe. I'm not sure what it is, but I know better than to open a link I've never seen. It could be a virus for all anyone knows. And when I did a Google search on it, it gave me back a lot of pages, many in Chinese, some mentioning a Kingsoft. I'll have to look that up, too, but this has gone to far. All I'll say now is that if there is a God, if she lets anything bad happen to Liz I will never forgive him. I've toiled too much for her sake for it all to just get blown to bits like this! She's the only reason I even got a job with the newspaper or Census Bureau, I did all that for her sake!

Census Work

Hi all. It's been a good while since I posted anything, but life has been truly crazy right now. I've been trying to get back in touch with one of my friends, and it's been difficult because a lot of people I know don't trust her because of her criminal record (she used drugs at some point in her life, but only to try to numb pain which may be caused by porphyria, which none of her doctors helped her treat...) I've been trying to help save her from harassment by authorities, but she's in some seriously deep s***, and trying to help her has been very difficult, partly because of her addiction to cigarettes, one thing she could definitely do without, and she even admits it. So, for her sake, I've been trying to get a job. And guess what? I found one! After quitting my lousy paper route job, the U.S. Census Bureau called me and offered me a temporary position as a NRFU enumerator. The job is a lot of work, because it involves trying to get in touch with people who are difficult to get a hold of, due to either being scarce, or just not wanting to fill out their census forms (in fact, I think one guy blew me off today, claiming that I called a wrong number...) Well, it only lasted a month for me, but the pay was good ($11.75 in my region, but larger cities get paid more.) Anyway, today is my last day, and I'm going to turn the last of my work folders in when my supervisor comes down this way to visit me. But, even with all the money I made, she isn't any better off. What's more, I need to pay my parents $160 insurance as well, seeing as they were reluctant to put me on their insurance. I had to bargain with them to get away with that. I would expect that from a total stranger, but my parents!? Anyway, I say the job is tough because it involves dealing with people, sometimes difficult ones, but the pay more than makes up for it, and with the way I'm trying to move out of the area, it helps that the job is only temporary. However, the government only does a census once every 10 years, so I was lucky that I caught it when I did, because with the economy suffering like it is, we kind of need some way to create jobs, and this is one way. But now that it's over, I have one thing to show for it; A work reference. And I know stuff about my supervisor so I can put her as a professional reference whenever I need to fill out any applications. But, I feel like I could have done more work. COULD HAVE, but I wasn't very experienced, and this was the first time I had to do any detective work, and given the rules that governed my job, I think I handled it better than some people in my situation would have. All things considered, it was worth it. Hopefully maybe I can use this to get a permanent job that pays just as good, where I can do work that doesn't involve social interaction, if I want that I have friends to talk to. So what does the future hold in store? We'll see...

Did scientists REALLY find Noah's Ark?

Most of us in America probably know the story; The world had become wicked and God had sent Noah to build an ark, load it with 2 of each animal, and stay on it for 40 days and 40 nights. On the 41st day, Noah went to send a dove out to see if there was dry land, and it brought back a branch from an olive tree, so he unloaded the Ark, and he and his family got off and populated the land, and God promised him he would never flood the Earth again by making a rainbow in the sky.

Well, certainly some of us know what causes a rainbow; It occurs when water in certain forms (such as rain) splits up light into its 7 colors, and causes it to appear as the familiar ring-shaped spectrum we know as the rainbow. A glass prism breaks light up in the same way, all that matters is that light has to pass through a translucent container, such as those 2 things which I mentioned above. So I don't know what to say about 'God' creating it, but here's interesting news; Scientists in Europe claim to have found Noah's Ark atop Mt. Arafat in Turkey. But what's more interesting is another source claims that Noah's Ark is ALREADY displayed somewhere else in Turkey. So, are either of them real? And if so, which one is it? But the fact that it was found atop a mountain certainly makes the case seem that much stronger, I mean, how would a boat end up up there? Could it have been elevated to that level after the 4,800 years that it has been sitting there? (That, by the way, is the age which scientists observing the finding in China date the wood back to.)

This is almost like the time someone claimed to have found the cloths that Jesus wore when he was crucified. But, that can't possibly be evidence of his existence, we have no idea what his DNA structure would have been from his blood... Unless it doesn't match anyone else, that's also a possibility. But it's these things that I'm looking for, proof that the words in the Bible aren't just something fictional, with some sort of empirical evidence of the existence of the things which the Bible claims to have happened. Like the ark, for instance.

But even if God DID exist, I don't believe in the modern teachings of the Catholic church. They say that things that are proven scientific fact are the work of the Devil, and that evolution is not fact... I disagree with them, there is strong evidence to the contrary. And some of the stuff they teach I don't think I remember even being in the Bible. Personally, I feel like it's necessary to avoid religion altogether, it gets crazy at times. I prefer a form of pure spiritualism, one that uses the Bible as its only authority, and if I decide I want to have faith in him again, I'll take that approach to it instead. Besides, even though it has been 4 years, it looks like maybe my prayers will be answered after all. But, why such a long time? Was there something I needed to get out of losing my freedom? After all, it had to get to the point where I thought it couldn't possibly get any worse before I finally figured out a way to find what I was looking for... Freedom...